My Name Is Joe

My name is Joe, and I have a ridiculously unrealistic amount of ambition. πŸ˜‰ A man with 6 fingers on his hand once said that it would probably get me in trouble one of these days. Honestly, I think he just had a chip on his shoulder because he has 6 fingers on his right hand. But anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I was talking about how stupidly ambitious I am.

I obsess about things. Those of you who really know me are probably going “really?” My answer to those people is that there’s no need to be a smart ass. You know I obsess about things. It doesn’t take knowing me very long to catch on to that nugget of information. I’d say anybody who has known me for about a week probably knows that I obsess about things. Ugh, see…I’m now obsessing about the fact that I obsess about things.

I want to be the best at everything. I turn everything into a competition. EVERYTHING. I recently wrote a novel. I’m not going to try to sell it here. If you want to find out about it you can look at my old blogs. Well, me being me, not only do I want my novel to be a best seller, (everybody out there should want to read my novel shouldn’t they?) I want the novel to be turned into a movie. I know, it’s really realistic to think a novel that has sold 15 copies will be bought by a major motion picture producer. I guess I should use the correct terminology. It will be “optioned” by a production company to be turned into a movie.

And this is where I obsess! I’ve being thinking about the ideal cast for this non existent movie since well before I even finished the novel. Since you’re all dying to know what my dream cast is (I know you really aren’t, but humor me anyway) I would have Wil Wheaton play the part of Michael, Marina Sirtis as Antonia, and Ian Somerhalder as Antonius. I’ve been thinking Nathan Fillion might make a good Gabriel. I’m not sure who I would get to be Azrael, but I’m sure it would probably be somebody British sounding. I’ve even done research on what would need to be done to sell a screenplay version of my novel. I might just do that, but it’s not going to be anything that I do any time soon, and I’ll just do it gradually. It honestly probably wouldn’t take much work to turn it into a screenplay. I would be able to copy over a lot of the dialogue.

OK, so I bet you’re saying “fine, you’re a writer that wants to be successful and have your works turned into movies. So what? Lots of writers want to do that.” Well, that’s not all. I also own a small brewery. I’m currently in the process of finding a new home for it, so it’s not exactly operational right now. I guess it’s not really out of the ordinary for me to want the brewery to be successful. Every business owner wants their business to be successful. It would be really cool if I could win some awards with it too. I guess right now I’m not really quite as ambitious with the brewery since I’m having such a struggle getting it set up in its new home. Hopefully that will happen soon and I will be completely ecstatic about that.

Lastly, I think everybody wants to be my friend, and I mean EVERYBODY. I don’t know why. I really don’t. It doesn’t matter if you have a 100 followers or several million followers, I think you should want to be my friend. I will try to start a conversation with anybody on the internet. It’s true. Ask Chuck Wendig, Wil Wheaton or anybody else famous that I randomly try to start conversations with. Most of the time they don’t reply, but that doesn’t keep me from trying.

Oh yeah, I also have a bunch of IT ideas in my head that I think all are potential billion dollar projects. So, now you have a better idea of how completely out of control my ambition is. I want to be a popular author, with millions of readers, who has movie producers knocking down his door to option his works, with a world renowned brewery, several billion dollar IT “side projects”, and be on a first name basis with whoever I want to be on a first name basis with. Oh yeah, and I want to own a castle in Belgium…because…reasons.

I also want to homestead with all my cool friends. Ya know, the only ones of you who are actually reading this blog. I’m sure most of you probably stopped reading quite some time ago, but for those of you that finished, now you have a little more insight into why I obsess so much about things. I can’t really help it. My ambition won’t let me. It makes me feed it regularly. At least I’ve been able to get it to relax on the ritual sacrifice requirement.

If I ever do half of what my ambition wants then one of these days you’ll be able to say “hey, I knew that guy when he was just a random crazy guy.” If not…you’ll probably still be able to say the same thing. πŸ˜‰


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